took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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