So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
