I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
That accounts for only three of the penises
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Randomize