this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
