Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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