LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
