I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
