ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
He passed out mid-signature
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
