Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i think i have herpe
just one?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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