she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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