How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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