I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Randomize
