I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
