Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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