I am puke
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
This is my gift to your gina
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
