Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
