Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Randomize
