I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
