You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
tell me about the eggs
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
