He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
