Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
