I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
