You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
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