Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
