turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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