I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
