The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
She told me I should be a condom model.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
