I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
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