hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
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