We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
