dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
