last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
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