please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
