Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
