and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
