so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Randomize
