We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Randomize
