Your dad touched me again.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
