You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
