I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Randomize
