nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
