So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
