I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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