and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
