just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
