I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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