You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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