that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
