Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
