these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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