I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
