Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
