shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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