are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
