I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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