wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
