Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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