It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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