My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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