you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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