pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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