I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
