im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Randomize