Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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