this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
