So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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