Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
