I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
