They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
