C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
