shes about as inviting as chlamydia
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize